Two by Two
by childofspacegypsy1
Summary: Sg-1 plus, plus Jack, learn to see things through 'new' eyes.
1. Chapter 1

**Two by two**

**Childofspacegypsy1**

**Synopsis: Sg-1 plus Jack learns to see things through new eyes.**

**Chapter One – Tropical Paradise**

Two by two they ran through the low mouth of the cave.

Cam had Vala by the arm as he dragged her out of the torrential downpour and they slipped and slid into the stone room. Standing just inside the cave, they tried to shake off the residual tingle as they watched the rest of their sopping group flounder through the opening.

Just as they crossed the threshold Teal'c grabbed Sam by the back of her vest to keep her from sliding into the cave on her stomach. Quirking a brow at the odd tingle, he pulled her to the side as Daniel and Jack burst through the veil of water into their small shelter.

Rubbing his arms against the tingle that had raised his forearm hair, Jack turned squinting, trying to locate the archeologist. "Daniel? Just what the hell was that?"

The man standing facing the wall opposite him, rubbed the small hairs at the base of his neck as he turned to answer.

Jack's mouth fell open as he watched himself turn and reply in his own voice. "Well, how the hell am I supposed to know, Jack. This planet was your idea. Tropical paradise my ass."

"Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"Oh my God." Vala was staring at Cam, Cam was staring at Vala.

"What?" Sam asked as she and Teal'c came over to see what was wrong.

Turing her head to look at Teal'c and see if he had some idea as to what was going on, Sam was shocked when instead of Teal'c standing next to her…_she_ was standing next to herself.

Sam's head turned towards her, "ColonelCarter…" her voice faded away and her eyes widened as the person occupying her body realized that he was looking at himself and not ColonelCarter. And what was wrong with his voice?

"Does somebody wanna tell me what the hell is goin' on?" Vala's husky voice drawled, the pounding rain muffling its worried volume.

"That's my voice! That's my body!" Cam leaned back, pointing at Vala with horror, his voice oddly accented.

"Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"Damn it, Jack! I don't know." Jack's horrified gaze swung from Vala to Cam and then back to his rightful, bespectacled face.

Daniel's body turned to Sam's, thought about it and swung to Teal'c's instead. "Okay, Carter?"

"I don't know. _Sir._" The almost disrespectful inflection of voice and the feminine tilt of head and hands on hip posture was hard to swallow in the deep timbre of voice and the large frame of the imposing Jaffa. Teal'c's body turned to Sam's asking for something from her pack.

Everyone watched in muted horror as the Jaffa wandered around the room, studying the doohickey and mumbling incoherent techno babble. Walking back and forth through the entrance of the cave, Teal'c shook his head and walked up to Jack, who stood one hand on his hip, the other pinching the bridge of his nose, and passed the piece of equipment over him from top to bottom.

"Well, there are definitely some odd readings here, but I have no way of knowing what they are or what they are doing without more equipment." Teal'c walked back to where Sam stood against the wall, the feminine face a stoic mask, placing the device into her pack.

"Ok, step one. Who is who?" Sam in Teal'c's body crossed her arms and watched as everyone eyed each other uncomfortably. "Fine. Jack?"

Daniel looked up. "Yeah?"

Sam rolled Teal'c's eyes. "Daniel?"

Jack's hand silently raised, not even looking up.

"Go sit next to Daniel..I mean Jack." Teal'c's body turned to look at where Cam and Vala where _not_ looking at each other. "Vala?"

"Present!" Cam reached up to twirl a nonexistent pigtail.

Teal'c's head shook. "Next to Jack please."

"Jack? Like physically Jack or like Jack, the personality currently occupying Daniel's very sexy body?" Cam's face flashed a mega-watt smile.

Sam raised Teal'c eyebrow. "Just get over there. Cam?" She looked at Vala's lean body perched on a rock, legs spread, pulling the bands out of her pigtails and making a pained face.

"Damn, my head hurts from those things. Why on Earth would you torture yourself like that princess? My scalp is screaming in pain." Vala's hands were massaging her scalp.

"Actually Vala, why don't you come over here and sit next to Cam?" Sam pointed Teal's large finger to the now disheveled looking 'princess'.

Going to stand next to her body-snatched self, Vala reached down to 'adjust' something. "You know Cameron, you are lucky I've done this before and am prepared for all the quirks that come with the male physic." Vala winked a bright blue eye.

Vala's grey eyes met Jack's brown ones across the room as Cam and Daniel internally grimaced.

Jack, curious about the situation, stepped out of the cave and looked back in, rain soaking him. The Jaffa rose suddenly, Sam's concerned evident on his face, "Daniel! Get out of the rain!"

Jack came back in, rubbing the water off Daniel's glasses with his sleeve. "That would be Daniel, sir?"

Sam's smile fully captured Teal'c's face in a very unusual way. "Oh right, sir, get Daniel's body out of the rain."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two – Body Snatchers Triumph**

Daniel's form stood just inside the mouth of the cave, rain misting over him as he fiddled with his radio. "Stargate Command. This is General O'Neill. Come in please. Repeat, this is General O'Neill. Damn it!" He turned and marched back to where his pack lay on the floor out of the reach of the downpour induced mist. "Is it ever going to stop raining on this God forsaken planet?" Turning, he scowled at his own face watching him from across the cave. "Daniel, I'm talking to you!"

"This just doesn't make any sense. There are no markings, no writings. Nothing." Having finished his tour around the small area, by habit, Daniel reached up to adjust imagined glasses with Jack's hand.

"Stop messing with my face!" Jack's accompanying glare looked decidedly silly on Daniel.

"Yes, a warning sign would have been useful." Cam's blue eyes narrowed in Vala's direction. "Do not break one of my nails, Cameron, or you will be paying for me to go back to the salon when, I mean if, we ever get out of here. And when was the last time you ate! I'm starving...and quit staring at my chest!"

"Quit staring at my lap!" He fired back.

Looking away from Mitchell and Vala, Teal'c studied his body leaning against the wall, head back, eyes closed. "Do you feel unwell ColonelCarter?"

"Yeah, I fell a little tired, light headed..." Teal'c's head lolled to look over at herslf.

"You are probably feeling the effects of waning Tritonin in my body." 'Sam' dug through 'his' pack and handed her the vile. "This should make you feel better."

"Alright, campers," everyone looked to where Daniel's body stood with glasses pushed up into his hair, rubbing his hands together. "We need to look at our options. Option One, swim back to the gate and figure this out back at the SGC. Option Two, figure this out here and go home in our own - hopefully dry - bodies."

Teal'c's large frame let out a very un-Jaffa-like snort. "And us not being able to figure anything out for all this time means nothing?"

"Well…"

"Sam's right, Jack. I can't find anything here to suggest, well anything."

Jack glared as he watched his own body argue with him, _traitor_.

"I have been over every inch of this place and nothing…" Large hands clasped behind 'her' back, Sam stalked towards Jack brushing past the dark haired pirate watching the door mutely.

"Come on guys, you two can't be giving up so easily!"

The dark head by the door called over 'her' shoulder in a husky southern accent, "Hey ya'll."

"What do you mean 'easily'? Nothing means nothing, Jack!"

The rantings continued, all but one ignoring their friend's attempt to gain their attention. Taking a hold of a tiny bit of hair in an attempt to twirl the non-existent lock, Cam's blue eyes turned from watching the fray to give a shrug, and a sad, understanding, smile to the figure at the mouth of the cave.

"Well, if it's that easy Jack why don't you just order us to figure it out?" With the Tritonin fueling her borrowed body Sam felt anything but stoic.

Jack was disconcerted as he watched his usually stoic friend pacing with female irritation. "Hey now!"

"Yes, General, wasn't this wonderful little outing your idea?" Cam's head cocked to the side with a smile so big it looked like his lips might split.

From his vantage point by the doorway Cam looked down at his consciousness's temporary lodgings and the irony of the sad little smile thrown to him by his own face was not lost. "Seriously, is no one going to listen to me?"

"Hey, all I wanted was to go fishing! It's not my fault I had to find some planet interesting enough for the glorious SG-1. No good-ole ordinary fishing hole for you guys!"

Suddenly a slim hand shot out and snatched Cam's uniform from behind and everyone stared as the grey eyed pirate dragged the Lt. Colonel willy nilly through the mouth of the cave and into the down pour.

"Cameron! What…" The words died on her lips as Vala turned to stare into a set of twinkling blue eyes and with a happy cry began to take stock of her very own person. "I'm me!"

Briefly making eye contact, Sam and Teal'c nodded once and dashed together through the rain slicked opening.

Jack's brown eyes widened and Daniel's blue ones blinked.

They stared face to face.

"Can't be that easy."

"Aht! Yes it can. Ladies first." Jack pointed Daniel's finger towards the opening.

"Very funny, Jack. Obviously it has to be to-geth-er" Daniel manipulated Jack's air quotes.

"Two by two, ya don't say!"

"And you're going to stretch my glasses wearing them on my head!"

"Not!"

"Uh, are!"

Vala and Cam took off towards the Stargate with Teal'c right behind them.

"Wait!" Sam yelled, "Jack and Daniel haven't..."

"Aw, come on Carter," Cam called back, "they'll eventually stop arguing and find their way home."

Vala suddenly giggled to herself.

"What?" Cam asked with good humor, just glad to be back in his own body.

"Wouldn't it be funny if like a little lizard or something scurried through the opening right as..." Suddenly Vala was talking to herself as her comrades turned as one and ran back towards the cave.

"Oh great, you choose this moment to listen to me!"


End file.
